Running has always been a popular sport. It manifests at different levels. Some take it up as a casual hobby, others as a coping mechanism—but for many, it’s an act of devotion. Dating a runner may seem no different from dating anyone else, but there are solid reasons behind the higher divorce rate among marathoners compared to the general population. The obsession that usually accompanies this sport has a way of creeping into your relationship.
They Only Love The Chase
As if only loving the chase isn’t complicated enough—turns out, it’s not even you they’re after. It’s the runner’s high. Generally, runner’s high could be described as a euphoric bliss in the middle of a run. It feels like you are running on clouds. The sky is the limit. Several theories have been proposed by scientists to explain this phenomenon. The oldest and most popular theory is that runner’s high is caused by a peptide called endorphin. Endorphins could be described as the body’s natural analgesic, hence their name, derived from “endogenous morphine.” This hormone binds to opioid receptors which are a type of G-protein coupled receptor present in various parts of the body. Specifically, this includes important brain structures like the periaqueductal gray and locus ceruleus (LC) which are processing centres for pain.
However, some studies have argued against this hypothesis as endorphins have a high affinity to water, making it less likely to penetrate the blood-brain barrier (BBB). The BBB acts as a selective gate and repels water because of its lipophilic nature. In the decade following this initial theory, scientists proposed the effect of two major endocannabinoids (eCBs), namely arachidonoyl ethanolamide and 2-arachidonoyl glycerol (2-AG). These molecules have the advantage of being lipid soluble, enabling them to penetrate the BBB. Like opioid receptors, endocannabinoid receptors are also found throughout the central and peripheral nervous system. Exercise has been proven to elevate the levels of endocannabinoids in the blood, where binding to its receptor results in pain alleviation and positive mood boosts.
They’re Actually in Agony
Unfortunately, there’s a catch. Not many runners experience runner’s high at all, whilst some admit to maybe feeling it once or twice. In reality, most runs would feel like a diabolical punishment to the body and mind. Thus, being their partner means that you will hear about this pain to no end – chafing, shin splints and muscle cramps. Some of them even lose toenails because of the repetitive trauma exerted upon the foot during long distance running. Typically, it could take up to 6 months to grow back and an additional year for full regrowth. Runners would voluntarily subject their body through the agony again by signing up to a new race right after finishing another. In the lyrics of Jeff Buckley, it’s never over. Toenails will grow back anyways, but kudos on Strava lasts forever.
A study by McGrath, Fontana and Toresdahl (2024) reported that 38.4% of their sample sustained injuries during the 16-week New York City Marathon training period, with 42.6% experiencing injuries during both training and the race. A larger proportion suffered overuse compared to acute injuries, with common tissues affected being the muscle, tendon/fascia and the bursa area. Most participants opted for physical therapy, while 1 in 23 marathon runners underwent at least one MRI during training or in the week following the marathon (Table 1).
Table 1. Healthcare utilisation among marathon participants during training and post-race. Source: McGrath, Fontana and Toresdahl (2024).
They Speak Another Language
As a partner, you try to be as supportive as you can. However, it’s extremely hard when they are using their “runners’ jargon.” Without context, it sometimes makes no sense which could feel like they are talking your ear off. Here are some possible phrases that they might use:
VO₂ max
VO₂ max is a metric of aerobic fitness which could be estimated by a running watch aside from an actual lab test. It stands for the maximum volume of oxygen your body can absorb and utilise during strenuous physical movement. To simplify, a higher score indicates a greater level of fitness, which generally improves over time with training. As athletes train and endure more physiological stress, their bodies adapt by increasing the density and efficiency of mitochondria within muscle cells. These mitochondria, known as the powerhouses of the cell, utilize oxygen to produce energy in the form of adenosine triphosphate (ATP).
In other words, if they say:
“My VO₂ max is currently at 50. It used to be 48!”
It actually translates to:
“I’m so happy my hard work is paying off, and I’m getting closer to my goals!”
Zone Running
Running could be divided into five zones where a higher number indicates a higher level of intensity. A zone two run means running at a conversational pace where full sentences could be constructed with ease. Basically, it means that you can chat and gossip without wheezing for air. On the other hand, a zone five run is a full power sprint which would be around 90% of an individual’s maximum heart rate.
There are some other lingo that are easier to pick up:
• DNF – did not finish
• Ultramarathons – any running event longer than 42.195 km
• Taper Week – period before the race with reduced training volume and intensity
In conclusion, don’t date a runner if you are not ready to make some adjustments. You may be dragged out of bed for a run on a Sunday morning or expected to wait for hours along the marathon route just to see them pass by for two seconds. If you’re head over heels, it wouldn’t matter anyways. Ironically, all of these obsessive characteristics are what make them good partners, if you let them . Their strive for perfection is only characteristic of their perseverance, discipline and hunger for success. It could also be translated into loyalty and resilience in managing other hardships. However, if you’re still in doubt, make a SWOT analysis. Even better, take a leap of faith and date them anyways.
References
Engelking, L. (2015). VO2 Max – an overview | ScienceDirect Topics. [online] Sciencedirect.com. Available at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/vo2-max.
McGrath, T.M., Fontana, M.A. and Toresdahl, B.G. (2024). Injury patterns and healthcare utilisation by runners of the New York City Marathon. BMJ Open Sport & Exercise Medicine, [online] 10(1), p.e001766. doi:https://doi.org/10.1136/bmjsem-2023-001766.
Watson, S. (2021). Endorphins: The brain’s natural pain reliever. [online] Harvard Health. Available at: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/endorphins-the-brains-natural-pain-reliever.
