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The questions that probably best encapsulate the current zeitgeist is: How do we reconcile the tension between our two most elemental desires – the desire to stand out and the desire to belong? And how do we remain authentic while doing so?

By the current zeitgeist, I refer to the widespread alienation our generation feels towards the future as a result of political disenchantment, a marked increase in toxic polarisation leading to an erosion of the centre, and a disillusionment towards the realities of living life online. Akin to a rock being pummelled by the waves, the individual must stand firm and set out to find himself, to make his life his own. And to live it authentically.

Authenticity is one of those notions which seems intuitive at first but, upon deeper reflection, turns out to be extremely mysterious. What does authenticity mean? What does it mean to be authentic or ‘true to yourself’? Is it even possible to be authentic? If it is, then how? 

Authenticity is often referred to as being true to oneself. But this doesn’t make things much clearer. What’s to say that we aren’t simply a collection of competing passions and desires and that any action we embark upon is simply the result of which desire prevails over all? And if so, which self should we be ‘true’ to?

You see, the typical notion of authenticity presupposes that we are a homogenous, unified whole, remaining historically consistent in our beliefs and practices. However, in reality, we are a patchwork of our competing ‘selves’. We cannot fail to realise that we act differently in different scenarios and that our actions regularly contradict our beliefs. I believe Montaigne put it best when he said:

We are entirely made up of bits and pieces, woven together so diversely and so shapelessly that each one of them pulls its own way at every moment. And there is as much difference between us and ourselves as there is between us and other people. 

 – Michel de Montaigne, “On The Inconstancy of Our Actions”

I venture to say that not only are we inconsistent, but that this very inconsistency is necessary for growth. It would not be possible to learn from mistakes if one simply stayed true to the beliefs that led to said mistake in the first place. On the contrary, this is a manifestation of what I believe to be the true meaning of authenticity – thinking for oneself. To exercise our reason and to act free from authority. To illustrate this point, someone who shares a post on social media about a social campaign simply because they see others doing so would be acting inauthentically. However, if they took the time to understand the cause and conceived a genuine belief in it, they would have been acting authentically by sharing it. Here they are acting free from authority – the authority of the crowd. 

However, merely thinking for ourselves is insufficient for authenticity. We also have to take full responsibility for our actions. Once a path has been chosen, true authenticity requires us to take full ownership of our actions and its consequences. By shirking those consequences, one essentially says that one was never truly prepared to take up complete ownership of one’s actions — unprepared to be held accountable as the author of one’s life.

Hence authenticity is not about the consistency of our actions, but the ability to think and act independently of some external authority and to take full responsibility for its consequences – be it in the judging gaze of the crowd or against the dogmatic doctrines imposed upon us since birth. 

Armed with this definition of authenticity, let’s look at how we can address the tension between our two elemental desires:

1. The desire to be recognised as individuals. 
2. The desire to belong to something bigger than ourselves.

The desire to be recognised as individuals is apparent in each of us. We feel that our deeds should be acknowledged as our own and that we ought to be appreciated as our most authentic selves. At some point in our lives, we develop a sense of selfhood, attempting to stand apart from the rest by differentiating our skillsets and interests. This is partly because of the economic value placed on scarce skills. It is also partly due to our inherent desire to be unique. Because who else is to live our lives but ourselves?

However, this desire is often usurped by another elemental desire – the desire to belong to something bigger than ourselves. Humans are social animals. We are members of a tribe from birth, starting with our families and later drifting in and out of various friend groups and relationships, some ephemeral and others more permanent. Throughout history, Homo sapiens’ unfair advantage over every other species has been our ability to work together effectively in achieving common goals. In the past, religion served as the glue that bonded society. People would happily accept serving a ruler who could claim divine authority. They surrendered their agency and aligned their sense of self to the commandments of an invisible friend. The reason? So that they could proudly proclaim “I belong. I belong to something greater than myself.”. Today, social media has exacerbated our desire to belong, be it to a group of people or some new-fangled trend. We are all susceptible to this type of social conditioning. On social media, we see the happiest of us feeling disappointed when their latest post does not garner enough excitement and validation. In politics, we see the most moderate of us being swept away by increasingly radical ideologies. Of course, this leads to the entrenchment of identity politics and the erosion of spaces for healthy discourse and compromise. But the most insidious danger of all is that in trying to fit in, we lose ourselves. 

If by trying to be ourselves we lose our sense of belonging, and if by trying to belong we lose ourselves, where does this leave us?

The only way forward is to remain, as far as possible, authentic. To hold on to the belief that each of us is capable of exercising autonomous reason and of taking full responsibility. In fact, our definition of authenticity does help reconcile these tensions. If you independently conclude that sacrificing your autonomy or individuality in exchange for a sense of belonging to a group is a worthy trade-off, then you are still being authentic. Furthermore, by being authentic, you are more likely to find a place to belong, even without sacrificing your individuality. If you are lucky enough to find them, these people will see you for who you are and create a sanctuary  you can call home. 

Ultimately, authenticity is never worth losing. As aptly Jung puts it, “It is the privilege of a lifetime to become who you truly are”.